Dear Diary: Work vs Rest vs Grudges

I am having a bit of a personal dilemma. I have a lot of pent-up anger and frustration towards two of my coworkers, and for that reason, I opted to take both of my off days this week. However, it meant giving up a good chunk of overtime, which will result in a bit of penny-pinching. So now I am wondering, how do I find a way to get past all of my negative feelings so that I can go to work comfortably, and not have to sacrifice my debt-free journey.

I need to find a way to work past the anger. I have gone so far as to not whine about it with colleagues who feel the same as I do, however, I have noticed that they acted one way with me but still find a way to be civil. And they almost seem to relish in my random acts of madness. How can I get myself calm and centered and ready to face the day? And preferably before my cubicle wall gets completely covered in post-its of quotes and affirmations that are read constantly when I am trying not to go berserker mode.

I do not want to fail again in my attempt to get out of debt. It has caused me too much anxiety for too long and I am determined to beat this, but I am not willing to sacrifice my peace of mind or the quality of my work, just because I have issues with coworkers. I know many would say find a new job and believe me I have considered this, but right now to find a job with the benefits and freedom I currently have with my limited skills is not easy. I also would prefer to have a decent amount of savings cushion before switching jobs. Taking random leaps of faith has never been my strong point.

Maybe it’s time I tried meditation or journalling before work again or better yet after work. I once saw a video where a shaman said that if your mind is clogged with too many questions and thoughts when you’re asleep the spirit has a hard time providing a solution. This causes you to wake up just as tired as before you slept. Maybe he has a point. I have become too fixated on too many things. I am not giving my body and mind time to properly rest. And a lack of adequate rest leads to me being cranky and frustrated over silly things. Wow… I guess it’s back to the basics I go. Slow and steady.

8 responses to “Dear Diary: Work vs Rest vs Grudges”

  1. Hi. I suggest that before you start working, that you pray for peace, the ability to endure and to just get through the day. Put your head to the ground with the knowledge that you have debt to pay off and none of those coworkers are going to do it for you. You cannot allow those people to get in your way especially with what you described above. Do not ppl still your joy or sunshine ☀️.

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  2. Hi! I suggest that each day you pray for peace and endurance. Put your head down and focus on what you need to do. You know that you have debt to pay off and none of those coworkers are going to do it for you. Forgive them so that you can move forward. Do not let anyone steal your joy or your sunshine ☀️. Matt 22:39 You must love your neighbor as yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree with you on meditation and remembering your purpose! But, also maybe deep diving whats the real reason for the anger? Usually when i get that way, im actually pissed at myself. Best wishes!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Funnily enough the thought had occured to me today that I might be mad at myself. And the more I thought about it, the more I noticed it’s a combination of both.

      I can’t control their actions, but I can control how I react.

      Liked by 1 person

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