I am having a bit of a personal dilemma. I have a lot of pent-up anger and frustration towards two of my coworkers, and for that reason, I opted to take both of my off days this week. However, it meant giving up a good chunk of overtime, which will result in a bit of penny-pinching. So now I am wondering, how do I find a way to get past all of my negative feelings so that I can go to work comfortably, and not have to sacrifice my debt-free journey.
I need to find a way to work past the anger. I have gone so far as to not whine about it with colleagues who feel the same as I do, however, I have noticed that they acted one way with me but still find a way to be civil. And they almost seem to relish in my random acts of madness. How can I get myself calm and centered and ready to face the day? And preferably before my cubicle wall gets completely covered in post-its of quotes and affirmations that are read constantly when I am trying not to go berserker mode.
I do not want to fail again in my attempt to get out of debt. It has caused me too much anxiety for too long and I am determined to beat this, but I am not willing to sacrifice my peace of mind or the quality of my work, just because I have issues with coworkers. I know many would say find a new job and believe me I have considered this, but right now to find a job with the benefits and freedom I currently have with my limited skills is not easy. I also would prefer to have a decent amount of savings cushion before switching jobs. Taking random leaps of faith has never been my strong point.
Maybe it’s time I tried meditation or journalling before work again or better yet after work. I once saw a video where a shaman said that if your mind is clogged with too many questions and thoughts when you’re asleep the spirit has a hard time providing a solution. This causes you to wake up just as tired as before you slept. Maybe he has a point. I have become too fixated on too many things. I am not giving my body and mind time to properly rest. And a lack of adequate rest leads to me being cranky and frustrated over silly things. Wow… I guess it’s back to the basics I go. Slow and steady.