Different Distances Between Us

Is it me?

Am I being paranoid?

Or has some element changed?

There is a distance between my colleagues and myself. Alone in a room full of workers. And yet it feels different somehow.

Part of me thought maybe the arrival of the delta variant on our island has made people more skittish, but no, it’s not that.

I think my feeling alone might be me feeling self-conscious. I am the lone childless female in a room full of parents, during back to school preparations. I often feel left out of the conversations, like they think I have nothing of value to offer. And it hurts, a little, to not feel like I belong. I suspect they think I can’t take any subject seriously and have minimal knowledge, the fact is I’m somewhat intelligent. I’d just rather not be asked why am I working in a dead-end job. Opens too many doors to deeper conversations I’m not ready for, so yeah. I’ll stay alone in my corner.

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