I have been thinking about love a lot lately. I have found myself questioning why am I with him and is this what I really want.

He doesn’t do drama. I have been in so many toxic relationships that I have no clue what a good one is, although one would think after experiencing so much I would know what I don’t want. And yet, is this what I want?

I want attention. I don’t think I will get it. This feels very much like a ramble. It is me rambling.

Before I thought maybe he was seeing other people, but now I can’t help but wonder if all the worry is coming from me? Maybe I am so used to have the other shoe drop, that I just go through life expecting it? Why am I struggling with being happy?

For all my good intentions, I know I am receding into my mind again this Christmas.