I did not want to work out today, but the fact that I was only 2 points away from hitting my goal of 150 heart points, kept niggling at me. So after a long day of thinking about all the quick ways I could sneak in those minutes, I finally settled on doing a quick pilates workout from YouTube.

I had first tried this video back in July but never went back to it because it left me with a sore stomach for days, and my depression kept telling me what was the point, no one cares how I look or even notices me. Hello, darkness my old friend.

However, I am pleased to say that after sort of consistently working out and trying to eat better for the last couple of months, It was a little easier to do this time. Could it be my body and mind are slowly getting stronger?

Another thing I have noticed as well is when I don’t work out for a few days, my mood swings become more vicious. So now I am wondering if the exercise is having a positive effect on my mental health as well. I know all the experts say so, and I myself have said so in the past, but back then physical activity was just a way to keep me from thinking about the pain and the mess that my life was and is. This time I am doing best to improve my mindset and work harder at being more comfortable in my mind and body.

Maybe with a bit of luck and hard work, this Christmas won’t suck as much. Fingers crossed.

Until next post, Happy Blogmas!