So I have decided to attempt Blogams again this year. Typically, the later months of the year, mainly October through December tend to be the worst for me mentally. My depression and anxiety run rampant and I switch from manic to depressive at the drop of a pin.
My best friend has been closely monitoring me but I don’t want to feel like I am distracting him from his life, so I am trying my best to find ways to survive and continue on my journey of learning how to be okay, during the holidays.
Work so far has been stressful. With the rise in COVID cases worldwide and larger countries reentering lockdowns off and on, it means work has been fluctuating. Our staff has been reduced by fifty per cent, and I am now officially the only person working in my department until things stabilize and staff can be rehired.
It also means that I have had to take a virtual pay cut. Since I am switching departments and no longer floating as much, I won’t be able to do overtime, and honestly having to adjust to flat pay is hard. I am having to learn how to budget all over again, and I was never good at it, but I will get there.
Either way, I know like previous years, I will survive this month, I just want to be better and more mentally stable. I also want to face some of the issues I have been keeping buried or just ignoring or so long.
I am hoping that by blogging and sticking to a schedule I can create a routine to help me through this period. Some posts may be boring, some will be triggering, but I need to do this and trying yet again to face my demons.
Welcome to my Blogmas 2020.