I have been having mini panic attacks and crying jags off and on for a few weeks now. Is it seasonal depression? Am I not handling stress well? Is it COVID fatigue? Or is it that something that has been buried in my subconscious is trying to fight its way to surface and I still don’t want to deal with it?
I don’t know. It’s the wee hours of the morning and I can’t sleep but I’m sleepy.
My best friend is getting concerned and I can understand why, because he has been here through everything and he knows how far I can spiral.
I am trying not to let it get that bad, but I also want to feel my feelings, and yet I also want to get in control.
I think I just need a serious energy break from everything and everyone. Just get away for a little bit and clear my head and expel all of the energy that is bottled up inside of me.
Exercise would help, but I can’t seem to drag myself out of bed to do it right now. Why am I hungry?
I hate when I’m like this. It will get better. When?