A million thoughts running through my head

I have been having mini panic attacks and crying jags off and on for a few weeks now. Is it seasonal depression? Am I not handling stress well? Is it COVID fatigue? Or is it that something that has been buried in my subconscious is trying to fight its way to surface and I still don’t want to deal with it?

I don’t know. It’s the wee hours of the morning and I can’t sleep but I’m sleepy.

My best friend is getting concerned and I can understand why, because he has been here through everything and he knows how far I can spiral.

I am trying not to let it get that bad, but I also want to feel my feelings, and yet I also want to get in control.

I think I just need a serious energy break from everything and everyone. Just get away for a little bit and clear my head and expel all of the energy that is bottled up inside of me.

Exercise would help, but I can’t seem to drag myself out of bed to do it right now. Why am I hungry?

I hate when I’m like this. It will get better. When?

4 comments

  1. I really don’t know when it’ll get better.
    Possibly never? I sound like a downer, but being realistic about this pandemic, it’s likely to affect the rest of our lives…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Realistic is right. I don’t a lot have even stopped to thinking about how we have been affected. I’ve been so busy just trying to stay above the water that I haven’t really stopped to process all of it.

      Like

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