Since my part time return to work, I have been trying to catch up on bills, buy supplies for the house that we were unable to buy for so long, and purchase little treats for my family. However, I have realised that I need to slow down and take note of the fact that I have been given a chance to create a safety barrier or buffer moneywise and I don’t want to waste this opportunity again. God has given me the opportunity to do so many times in the past and I did not take advantage of it and he’s giving me this chance again.
Sticking to a budget is not always easy, and my anxiety is not making it any easier either. I’m definitely becoming my biggest enemy right now. The fear of not having or not bying just in case, versus the the fear of not saving enough has been weighing heavily on my mind.
I have been back at work for over two months now and I find myself struggling with possible burnout again. I also find myself struggling with setting boundaries with management and my teammates when it comes to my workload. Now in all fairness, I’m not back full-time. Technically I’m more of a contracted worker right now, and while I am grateful to have work when so many on the island are still unemployed, the workload is just too much at times.
I try not to rush my assignments and to do everything slowly and meticulously so as to avoid any errors, but some days my brain feels foggy. And those are the days I actually take a break and escape the office for a bit. I do not always succeed.
In a sense I feel or I know this is my fault. They see me as efficient and dependable. Plus I am the one who willingly crosstrained in multiple departments. Talk about a double edged sword. On the one hand my ability to do so much has me back at work ahead of others, but it also means my workload is heavier and my poor brain is worked harder.
How do I find the silver lining?