Dear Diary: I am Disorganized Mess

There are many things in life I struggle with, many things I would like to accomplish, but I struggle with time management and consistency issues. And the sad part is I know this, and yet I am less than willing to actively do something about it.
I do not want to beat myself up daily for being less than perfect. I know that I am just human, but I have so many responsibilities that I really and truly don’t know where to start sometimes.

More than once I have told myself to get a planner and plan out my days, but my job is less than predictable these days so for those 6-8 hours I need to be able to switch hats at the drop of a dime. I was off duty today and I completely ignored work, I did not check my emails, call my manager or supervisor to follow up on things in my tray. Nothing, and it felt so good for a change. To not be Miss Dependable. I just gardened and rested.

The sun has set however and reality is slowly setting in that I need to find a way to better organize my day to day life to help ease my stress and bring me more joy. I need to stop being afraid of what others may think about these changes and just make them. No one else can live in my mind or body or life for me. I need to stop being so afraid and live for me. Maybe. Someday.

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