For the past few weeks, I have been trying to figure out, just when I lost my love of exercise. When I was around 14 going on 15, I discovered yoga and aerobics videos on cable. So every day to help pass the time when I was bored at home, I would do a workout. Without realizing I grew stronger and leaner over time. My school uniform hid most of it though.
Even after leaving Secondary School and going on to Community College, I would keep fit by walking the 30 mins home after school as often as I could. Same with my first and second job. Both kept me reasonably fit.
Then my life just slowly started unravelling after I lost my second job and moved on to my current place of employment. I became lazy. My depression really started to play more of a major role in my life at the point. I didn’t know I was having serious mental health issues as yet, I just knew that I no longer cared about my health, how I look, my clothes, I wore my uniform most of the time so I just stopped shopping. Heck, I grew to hate it.
So now with all these possible weeks of free time ahead of me, I have decided to seriously try exercising again. The first couple of weeks went fairly ok, with me complaining to my closest friends about how much I hated it. I slacked off a bit after my family came to stay with me for a bit, and my weight has ballooned up, my eating is crazy, my anxiety and depression are making their presence known and I actually miss exercise. Life is funny that way. I fell off the horse, so now it’s time to get back on again.
More importantly, I will do my best not to beat myself up over this. It is okay to take breaks or to even fail, as long as I don’t give up or ask for help when needed.