Self care is not as easy as every guru and motivational speaker makes it out to be. I think the reason I feel this way is because I tend to be my own worst enemy where this is concerned.
I have a tendency to be a yes person. Yes I’ll work those extra hours and shifts, I rarely sleep anyway. Yes, I’ll drive you around on YOUR errands, I have no social life so it will get me out of the house. Yes I’ll come give you a massage even though my neck and shoulders are so tense is hurts to reach on the top shelf for a book.
I feel as though if I don’t help or save every one, no one will like me and I won’t have anyone in my life to talk to. Fact is, even though I do all of this, I still don’t have anyone in my life. And so in the rare moments I find myself at home, alone, I feel depressed about the fact that I have nothing that brings me joy and no one to share beautiful days with.
Every day I wake up telling myself that it is okay to be a little bit selfish, to say no, to find my why so I can find my goals and my dreams and work towards them, and some days I am successful. Other days, like today, I am in bed bemoaning my lack of motivation.
I know the importance of self care. It’s the execution, I struggle with daily.