Dear Diary

I often wonder why depression is still so taboo. But also why people seem to be turning it into a trend. I am seeing more and more people in social media, especially YouTube talk about their problems with depression and anxiety and I often wonder who is being real and who is just doing it for attention. Maybe that’s just the cynic in me, but sometimes their words, and facial expressions let’s me know, yes they have felt the pain. Yes, they have been at the lowest low and are still fighting.

This is not to say I am hating on anyone, I just want people to know mental illness is a real issue. And for those who are brave enough to talk about it publicly, I applaud you.

I personally have been dealing with it since I was a child. You are never cured, you just learn how to manage it. I only just started being open about it because I was tired of hiding. My shrink has helped to realize that keeping things bottled up and only done me more harm than good. Because when the pressure becomes to much I burst and wreck havoc on myself and those around me.

And finally accepting that I have a problem, something that affected my grandmother and my mother and now me has given me the courage to admit that I need help.

Having him tell that he had noticed a change since I started seeing a doctor and seeking treatment let’s me know I have made the right choice. I have noticed it too. I’m calmer, happier and I can fight off the blues much quicker. Not all the time, but I am able to isolate the cause and work on getting past whatever is bringing me down.

Now if only I could find the motivation to start exercising again. I think it would help. A healthy body and healthy mind go hand in hand.

I will get there. I just have to keep taking it one day at a time. And keep surrounding myself with positive thoughts and images and people.

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